zzz

its always not my call.

permissions permissions permissions.

i hate asking permissions.

no matter from who.

i dont even have a freaking small freedom to make myself a decision.

this cannot that cannot.

when i dont feel happy then what next?

blame me for wanting something?

in the end its all my own fault.

why should i even follow other people's order?

its not because i lazy wanna decide.

i dont even have the chance.

does anyone respect my decisions?

whenever i tell someone about my decision and for sure they will question me.

"why you want this? are you sure?"

if i didnt want it i wont tell people i want it right..

i feel so tired on hoping people to respect my call.

i cant believe at this time i still pray that someone one day will tell me that i can do anything i want and they will like whatever i do.

this is ridiculous. sigh.

whole day i feel so sad.

no one understands me.

always want me to think in their shoes but no one ever thinks in my shoes.

yea.. very fair hor..

this post is for me to tell out everything and when i feel better i'll delete it.

sigh. its all blind hope.